The negotiation
Oh my God, I have free time! Well time to throw that into insert a mobile app or favorite form of entertainment here.
The entertainment is fun sometimes but mostly it is an excuse to get more of that lazy comfort and mindless moments. Surprise, years just went by…
Well here we are years later with the same time wasting habits reinforced by years of near zero productivity.
We know we want more.
We know we have reached for more before and quit.
There are at least 2 people inside of me.
Person 1, aka Logic, is the person I try to project to others. The confident, driven, hard working machine that has goals and desires.
Person 2, aka Sloth, is the person that you don’t see but is secretly calling all the shots in life. Sloth will do just enough to get by and keep thought, planning and desire to a minimum.
Killing Sloth doesn't work. Sloth will play dead laughing and then hamstring you when you think you are getting ahead.
I have heard of people that have met success over Sloth for years using religious crusades or feeding logic but I have never reproduced such results myself. But I am a technologist, an analytically thinking developer empowered by years of study and solving hard problems.
The people in me could discuss this issue and negotiate a plan. Logic knows that if we keep doing the same things we are doing now we will end up in the same place, or worse. Sloth confesses that he will come out stronger and harder the more the stress piles up and the longer he is contained.
Friday and Sunday evenings belong to Sloth. The built up stress and exhaustion are overflowing on those days.
Monday through Thursday belong to Logic.
Saturday evening doesn't belong to any of my internal people, it belongs to others.
Perhaps this will work better than past attempts, perhaps not. I will focus on where I want to be and see if this can help me get there.